There are not many things that will grow in my zone that I will not at least try to grow if I have the space and resources to do so. I really like to grow fruits and vegetables, particularly those that I am familiar with from when I was young. They are just as productive now as they were then. The only problem is that I do not know how to cook. I can freeze, can or pickle large quantities of produce, but cooking is something that I leave to experts.
I notice that almost all garden columns or blogs include recipes for the produce grown in home gardens. Mine does not. Except for a few recipes for pickles, jams and jellies, I just do not have any recipes that I would share.
When I get big winter squash, I really do not know what to do with them. I sometimes give them away to those who will cook them. Sometimes, I just cut them up, cook them, and then freeze what I can not eat. They are fun to grow, and I really like how I can keep them around for such a long time before I get around to cooking them; but they would be so much easier to work with if they were small like summer squash.
This weird squash was on the kitchen counter for a long time. Before it was cooked, it was very smooth, without any lumps, bumps or beady eyes. It was not ridiculously big. In fact, I only cut in half and ate it in two days. At the time, I was in a situation where I had a microwave oven in which to cook it, so I did so for several minutes. With a bit of butter, the first lower half was quite good, and separated nicely from the outer skin. I cooked the upper half in the same manner on the second day. It was making weird noises as it cooked, as if it were very unhappy about something. It was hissing and spitting for the several minutes that it was in there.
When I opened the door, this is what I found staring back at me from a small puff of steam! It looked angry! Apparently, it did not like to be cooked that way; or perhaps it was just a hateful squash. Regardless, it was rather creepy, and difficult to enjoy. I peeled the outside away and discarded it, but could not help to think that it was still watching me from the trash can with those beady tan eyes and crooked mouth! I do not think that I will be growing this variety again.
Tony Tomeo 
Goodness, I wouldn’t like to be alone in my kitchen with that spooky squash. Very disturbing.
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Get to the knives before it does!
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Did you think you could make people laugh out loud about what you wrote today? You did! It was alive………..
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Oh, it is quite dead now! . . . or is it?
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Let’s hope so!
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Wow – that would have made a great Jack-O-Lantern – you wouldn’t even have had to carve it. Very expressive, and yes – very creepy. I like to cook, but I grow very few edibles in my mostly shady garden. And, only if they have ornamental value. I call them prettibles. Rhubarb and Bronze Fennel are currently among them. Mind you, if I had space I would definitely grow others. Or, if supply lines were cut off, and I had to fend for myself.
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‘Prettibles’! How rad. Chard would be a prettible! Rhubarb rox, not many people grow it anymore. I grow the same rhubarb I got from my great grandfather when I was a kid. It does well in the full sun, but I grow some in a densely forested spot too, just because it does not seem to mind, and makes longer petioles.
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I think the one I have is a rescued Victoria, but it doesn’t get enough sun to develop those pretty red stems. Still tastes great, though! Not familiar with Rhubarb rox – it sounds like it would be red, too. When I looked it up, it looked a lot like Victoria. Do you think it might be the same thing…?
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Oops. ‘Rox’ is an old Val term from the 1980s that means ‘rocks’, as in ‘excellent’. It is not a cultivar of rhubarb.
My very old rhubarb looks just like the classic ‘Victoria’ and it just might be. I do not know how old ‘Victoria’ is, or how old my rhubarb is. My great grandfather could have gotten it from his ancestors a very long time ago, or he might have purchased it at a hardware store in 1970 while I was still quite young. I got it in the early 1970s. I find that it is green in the shade, but turns garnet red when cooked. I do not know if it is better in the sun or shade. I was always told that it wants sun, and it looks better in the sun, but the longer green stalks in the shade are just as good.
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Oh, how funny! Haha – you had this old Swede totally snowed over! Mind you, I wasn’t in the US until the end of that decade, so I might be excused for not catching that… About the chard you mentioned earlier – they are indeed gorgeous. I like to use them in planters. 😊
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Val was as much a regional dialect at it was temporal. People think it was from the San Fernando Valley, but they really got it from the Santa Clara Valley.
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Reblogged this on Tony Tomeo and commented:
Well, since writing this three years ago, and mentioning that I would not likely grow this squash again, . . . I grew it again. It is in the garden right now.
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Absolutely hilarious! The Spirit of the Squash, indeed — it could be roaming the land still!
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Ooooh, . . . now that will keep me up tonight. The Great Pumpkin was bad enough.
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