Sadly, the not so little Monterey pine in the old school yard is now gone. Unfortunately, they do not last long in the chaparral climate of the Santa Clara Valley.
So the spelling is a bit . . . off. Ignore the ‘E’ before ‘If’ and the ‘n’ after ‘grow’. They are crossed out . . . sort of. ‘wont’ means ‘want’. ‘haf’ means ‘have’, as in ‘have to’ or ‘need to’. It made sense at the time, more than four decades ago. Perhaps I should rephrase it.
If you want your garden to grow, you must talk to it.
You must talk to your garden in order for it to grow.
Your garden requires regular discourse for healthy growth.
This concept dates from a time of big Boston ferns and spider plants suspended by coarse macrame with big wooden beads. Coleus and rubber tree were popular house plants too. Remember terrariums? There were big flowered daisies, tam junipers and big petunias in the yard. A group of three European white birches was cool, as if it was somehow unique…
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Tony Tomeo 
What a great post. For one thing, you brought back to mind those macrame-and-bead hangers. And the three birches. We had them when I was in high school. They were relatively short-lived, but I loved them, and kept some of the logs for years. As for talking to plants? I just mentioned to those on my patio that, yes, they would be coming in when the big freeze arrives next weekend. I certainly wouldn’t leave them out in the cold.
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Thank you.
I no longer talk to plants, but I do get the distinct impression that some of them are amused that I talk to Rhody, no matter how much he ignores me.
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I found that threatening plants sometimes works. I tell them if they do not bloom, they will be replaced. It usually works.
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You are not the first to insist that this technique is effective. It sort of makes one wonder what else they are capable of. It would be nice to get grapefruits from the pomegranate tree.
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Very good! I talk to my plants but most of them insist I am talking to myself…
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Have you tried speaking French? Everyone likes French.
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Well, I only speak English. I figure as long as they have been here they should understand by now. 🙂
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Or, you could just tell them that you are speaking French. They would not know otherwise.
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